Saving Bella
by somakeitcount
Summary: Who said goodbyes were easy. But if you love someone, sometimes you need to set them free. ...Right? Set at the beginning of New Moon, as told by Edward Cullen.


Hi guys!! So, i just finished my exams, and I decided that I had a bit of a muse. This story is just a one-shot -- you'll find that I'm notorious for them after a while. This is a one-shot from Edward's point of view, taking place right after he left Bella in New Moon.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Twilight series books, nor the characters, nor any rights to anything that has to do with the books. I am merely a fanfiction writer awed by the brilliant books, ideas, and characters of Stephenie Meyer, and the movie being produced by Summit Entertainment.

--

**Saving Bella**

I watched as her eyes closed. Her beautiful, warm, chocolate eyes. The eyes of the girl, no, the woman, I have waited for over a time period of nearly the century. The eyes of my friend. The eyes of my love. I closed my eyes, only momentarily, trying to imprint the image of her beautiful face into my mind. It is a silly idea. After all, no matter how long I am on this Earth, hers is the face, the voice, the soul that I will never forget.

A wave of nausea rocked through my body, unexpectedly. Am I really going to go through with this? Is it really the best thing for her. It certainly isn't the best thing for me. How could it be when I want her -- all of her -- forever? I wanted to pull her into my arms and bury my face in her soft brown hair. I wanted to feel her warmth send chills down my spine. I wanted to feel her warm breath on my neck as she slept quietly in my arms. I wanted to feel the silk of her skin beneath my fingertips. But most of all, I wanted to hear her heart beating. I wanted to hear that lulling rhythm that I had become so attuned to for the rest of my life.

I opened my eyes, and took one more look at her, drinking everything in, savouring the last moments I'd ever have with her. My Bella, my sweet, beautiful, kind, clumsy-as-all-hell Bella. The most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on. Closing my eyes again, I turned around. And I ran.

I wasn't entirely sure where I was going. I felt like I needed to find something, but I wasn't sure what that something was. My feet pounded against the ground harder than usual. Above me, the rain began to pour, but I was protected by the green canopy which hung above me. My running slowed to a jog, the trees no longer a blur. I didn't want to run anymore. It reminded me of her. It reminded me of the way she draped her arms around my neck and locked them together. Of the way that her legs hooked around my hips, fearful that she would fall at any second. Of the way she buried her face in my neck, too nervous to look around at whatever we were passing at that moment.

Finally, I walked. The animals were all hiding from the rain, and the forest was silent except for the sound of the rain pattering on the millions of leaves overhead. My steps were light, barely leaving an imprint behind me as I padded along. As I reached the edge of the trees, I pushed past the branches and vines to see where my feet had taken me. And in that moment, I felt as though I had died a second time.

An unfamiliar feeling wrapped itself around my heart as I walked into the meadow. My chest was suddenly tight and uncomfortable, as if someone's hand was trying to squeeze the last bit of life that I had in me out and away from me. The rain had slowed, but was still beginning to soak my clothes. I didn't care. Nothing was as uncomfortable as the pain in my chest now. It was as if a lead weight was pressing on my chest, and no amount of my physical strength could remove it. I was trapped under the weight, and I knew that it was crushing me.

I pushed past the ferns, passing through the centre of the meadow, walking towards the trees where Bella and I had sat together so many times before. I stopped in front of the small clearing in the ferns and gazed down quietly. The flowers she had picked on our last day here still sat where she had left them. They were now greyed and wilted, but there they still remained, tied together with the long blades of grass that she had retrieved from the forest's edge. I sat down under the cover of the trees and picked the small bundle up. It should have weighed nothing, considering its composition, but instead, it weighed heavily against my hand. I touched the knots she had tied with such care, recalling the concentrated look on her face that had been there when she was tying the bouquet together. The corners of my lips curved up into a gentle smile. That was my girl.

Nearby was a small pile of petals and the stem of a daisy. I picked the stem up and twirled it in my fingers. The petal-less plant danced and twirled as I closed my eyes...

_Her smile was bright and cheery as she ran through the forest. It was extremely odd to see her running and not hur-- well that I saw coming. Bella laughed from her place on the ground where she had tripped over a protruding root. I reached out my hand to her, and as I pulled her up, I revelled in the warmth that radiated from her hand. "Come on, Edward. We're almost there right?"_

_I had to laugh at her in that moment, because even with dirtied jeans and muddied palms, she was still the most beautiful creature I have ever set eyes on before. I wiped a speck of mud away from her cheek before cradling her head between my palms. "Yes, love," I said with a grin, "We're just about there." I smiled, tilting my head to the side slightly and lowering my lips to hers. When I pulled away, a goofy smile came over her face as she grabbed my hand and pulled me along._

_It took no time at all to reach the meadow, and I took a seat. Bella danced through the meadow, picking flowers here and there. When she came back, she tied them up carefully, and then picked up a stray daisy. "He loves me, he loves me not..." she said, plucking a petal off of the flower each time._

_"For the love of everything, what are you doing Bella?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow at her, a grin on my face._

_"I'm checking to see if you love me or not." she said simply, before returning to plucking the petals off of the flower one by one._

_I moved behind her, draping my arms around her and pulling her warm body in closer to to mine. As I lowered my lips to her ear, I brushed them against her hair and neck, enjoying the silky textures of both. "I think we both already know the answer to that, Bella. I love you more than my own life. I love you more than anyone else I have ever met in my entire life, which happens to be quite a long time."_

_Bella grinned from ear to ear, holding the stem of the flower up. There were no petals on it anymore, and it swayed gently in the breeze. "That's what this says too." she whispered, leaning back and settling into my chest. "And I love you too, Edward. So much. So much that it hurts to not be with you. Like my chest is being crushed. Like I can't breathe. You are my oxygen, my life. My everything." she whispered, closing her eyes. "Everything."_

The pain in my chest was almost unbearable now. That's why it hurt so badly. I had lost my oxygen. I lost my drug, my heroin. Reality began to set in. I was really giving up my first real love. "Whoever said that if you love someone, you'll let them go was an idiot." I mumbled, dropping the stem from my hands. I didn't want to think about life without Bella, but it wasn't safe for anyone for me to be around her. It wasn't safe. And I didn't know what I would do with myself if something happened to her. I couldn't see life without her in the world. There was no life without her in the world.

I took a deep breath, moving onto my hands and knees. I dug a small hole in the ground, pushing the dirt to the side. First, I picked up the bouquet and dropped it into the hole gently, trying not to destroy anything that was left of it. I dropped the stem in next, and then scattered the daisy petals over the whole thing. Slowly, handful by handful, I covered my last pieces of proof that I was ever here with her forever. I sat back and brought my knees to my chest, holding my head in my hands. My eyes welled up, although I willed them not to. My face was contorted with pain, and I was overcome with dry sobs. So this is what it felt like to die of a broken heart.

I tried to gather myself together. I had to go to her house and get rid of any traces of myself. I had to compose myself. I had to make things easier for her. I had to remove myself from everywhere. I knew I could live as long as she was alive. All I wanted was for her to be happy. I broke into a run, towards her house, one last time. And all I could tell myself was that I was saving Bella.


End file.
